alone but different

The feeling of being alone in your own home with your dh down the hall asleep is such a different feeling from having your dh 15minutes down the road at the hospital for a week and thinking that his heart isn't working. We had a totally weird scare this past week, dh drove himself to the hospital last Friday morning with "chestpain". I hate that symptom and it's so scary when the ER tells your dh that he wont be going home until 6pm, then you get a call from dh who says he'll be there all weekend, then you do get him home on Sunday and he's so dizzy he can't stand up and you have to drive him back from his "day pass" to stay at the hospital until Wednesday. Everyday comes and goes with no sign of a specialist and it's Thursday 4pm before you can get your dh home. I'm just so happy that he's home.
I'm not a very "go go go" kind of person, since I've had MJ i've settled into a trend of letting dh do all and almsot everything, taking TJ to school, dealing with the School, getting the groceries, paying all the bills, putting AJ to bed, and TJ and I've been left with MJ, so I've gotten myself into a rut. This past week, I demolished the Rutt. I drove myself to the hospital, used the parking ticket machine, paid for the parking, gotten babysitters for the boys while I went to visit dh, drove TJ to school with MJ And AJ with me and by Thursday we shaved 5minutes off our personal best from Monday morning. Wednesday we all slept in, thinking that dh was coming home and because TJ had a 1/2 day it wasn't a big deal. Thursday I even handled an emergency pick up of TJ after he tossed his cookies at school, ICK! I then took all 3 kids with me to pick up dh at the hospital, puke bucket and all. I guess this is just a normal day for most mom's but for me it felt like I had branched out of my rut.